I am powerful! (Named Milestone: Flower Power)

Flower 2015Can’t believe it’s May already! And nearly June, now that I think about it. This year is flying by and it’s been a lot of fun to see how quickly my body is changing along with the calendar. Can’t believe that I was over 300 lbs just 7 months ago.

Though the scale isn’t giving up big losses the way it used to, my progress continues. I’m at 224.6 lbs now, a post-op loss of 80.4 lbs and an overall drop of 105.4. My next major milestone is 205 lbs, or -100 lbs post-op. After that, I’m gunning for ONEderland! Less than 25 lbs to go to that landmark–and I still can’t really wrap my head around that.

I’m seeing lots of changes in my body. My belly is finally starting to deflate and that makes me happy. (My butt is too, and that does not.) It’s weird how the body lets go of weight, I think.  Totally random. And subtle. It’s sort of like a watched pot, you see yourself everyday but don’t pick up the tiny little changes that eventually build to a “wow, was that there yesterday?!” moment. I spent a few minutes marveling over my newly rediscovered right hipbone this morning, for example. And catching unexpected proof of my re-emerging waistline is still a highlight of any day that it happens.

Monthly pics back and side--updated May 2015

I’m firmly in a modern size 12 or large now. My XL t-shirts are transitioning from everyday clothing to workout gear/sleepwear and everything else has claimed a spot in the “too big” box. My jeans are comfy enough to fly in and to wear all day–no more default elastic waists to accommodate swelling! Target had a 40% off all apparel sale around Christmas of last year, and I stocked up on their Mossimo jeans because they’re one of the few brick-and-mortar stores that sell long women’s jeans and it makes no sense to invest in fancier ones when I’m dropping a size  about every 1.5 months. I bought the boot and skinny cuts in sizes 10-16 for about $15/pair. The 10s looked like doll clothes back then–hell, so did the 12s. Well, I’m typing this wearing a pair of the 12s and they feel great. Won’t be long before I’m in those 10s either…definitely before I hit ONEderland. The mind, it boggles.

Everyone notices at work now. It’s seriously funny to see the reactions of people who haven’t seen me in a while. It went from *quizzical* “have you lost weight?” to *shock* “holy crap, how much weight have you lost?!” seemingly overnight. People are actually calling me “skinny”, which is hilarious to me–hey I still weigh a deuce and a quarter, folks! What’s best, though, is that they’re saying how much healthier and happier I look. Pretty cool, I think, because that’s certainly how I feel!

I really need to step up the strength-training. My arms are the bane of my existence right now. They’re not loose or anything but they seem so resistant to weight loss, while everything around them shrinks. Blergh. Just gonna hang on til the last, huh? And to think I used to complain about my “stick” arms back in the day. Karma, you’re a cruel mistress! Summer’s coming and I want to wear sleeveless (like this cute jumpsuit I got in black for my nephew’s graduation next month*), but I’ve raised covering my upper arms to an art form over the years and old habits die hard. I think I am just gonna get over it, though. That jumpsuit is rockin’ and I lurve it, and I don’t want to fuddy it up with a shrug.

Next monthly progress pic will be on or about the first day of summer, Sunny Face.


*If you’re tall like me and looking for an affordable jumpsuit, the inseam on this one is superlong despite being listed as 31 3/4″ in the item description. My inseam is 35-36″ and this scrapes the floor on me. The fabric is substantial, too, like a medium-weight ponte with good drape and it looks much more expensive than it is. With the coupon, I paid about $20 for mine. Looking out for all the tall ladies!

7-month post-op weigh-in: 224.6 lbs (-80.4 lbs post-op; -105.4 lbs total)

Surgery: 305.0 lbs (10/21/2014)

1 month:   280.6 lbs (-24.4 lbs post-op)
2 months: 266.2 lbs (-38.8 lbs post-op)
3 months: 254.0 lbs (-51.0 lbs post-op)
4 months: 243.0 lbs (-62.0 lbs post-op)
5 months: 234.4 lbs (-70.6 lbs post-op)
6 months: 228.0 lbs (-77.0 lbs post-op)
7 months: 224.6 lbs (-80.4 lbs post-op)

10/21-11/21: -24.4 lbs
11/21-12/21: -14.4 lbs
12/21-1/21: -12.2 lbs
1/21-2/21: -11.0 lbs
2/21-3/21: -8.6 lbs
3/21-4/19: -6.4 lbs
4/19-5/25: -3.4 lbs

Average monthly post-op loss: 11.49 lbs

Due to travel, April’s weigh-in was early and May’s was late. Still wanted to give myself a snapshot of this time, though, for future reference.

Not much loss but I don’t blame Sleevie. (Ugh though I am waiting for that stall boot to inevitably fall.) Instead, it’s likely a combination of going a loooong stretch without working out. Plus not taking my hateful GI medicine while on the road. That’s always a guaranteed setback. Plus travel swelling…I’m already three trips in since my April 19th update, with two more slated in the next 3 weeks. Frankly, I’m shocked I lost anything this month! So I’m good.


May 25, 2015 weigh-in: 224.6 lbs (-105.4)

WWI 5-25-15Weight: 224.6 lbs
Weekly change: n/a
Post-op (10/21/14, 305): -80.4 lbs
From highest (330): -105.4 lbs
To half-assed goal (165): 59.6 lbs

Modest loss, but a loss nonetheless. Another drop in the bucket! I’m finally off my duff and back to working out, so I expect things to pick up soon. 19.6 lbs to the next major milestone–down 100 lbs post-op–and I’m determined to get there this summer.

Glad to be exercising because I really need the stress relief right now. Amazing how a workout can clear away the mental cobwebs! Told my friend that endorphins are free counseling, and that’s the capital T truth. Dr. Sweat is a lifesaver!

Been traveling a lot lately, which is jacking up my graphs. I’ve been missing the end of the calendar month, the post-op month, weigh-in Mondays…blergh. But June gets back on track. In the meantime, I’ll use today as the end of post-op month 7 and the 30th as the end of the calendar month; that should still give future me a pretty good idea of where I was now.

Had an episode of emotional eating yesterday. Didn’t pig out (how could I, right?) but I did eat several times when I knew I wasn’t hungry. Grazing on munchy things, so I’d have preoccupied hands to go along with my preoccupied mind. And the way I felt as I did so was very familiar. Which is the problem–it clearly was about feelings and not the food–so I know I need to dig into the why behind that. And maybe buy a bag of baby carrots? (Break glass in case of emergency)

This is no easy way out. I know I say that often, but it bears repeating. It’s just a tool. Your issues don’t magically disappear on the operating table. You still have to do the physical and emotional work, the sleeve just helps you feel more confident that you can. That’s my experience, anyway.

I will struggle with this for the rest of my life. I didn’t get fat because I love food;  I got fat because I used it to self-soothe. Yep, my medical conditions played a part, sure, but the bulk of my bulk came from employing eating as a short-term solution to a long-term problem.

I’ve come to terms with it. This is my reality. So I know that my success depends upon my ability to consciously and continually navigate around the impulse to use food as a coping mechanism. Fail to plan, plan to fail.

I can’t say I’ll never stumble, but I can promise I’ll never stay down. Last night, I came upstairs and did crossword puzzles. Today, I did a fun, dancey workout to blow off steam. And I refuse to keep it a secret–I told my best friend and my Om. And I’m posting it here, too. No shame, just real talk. And progress.


It’s a wrap

Back in Oklahoma for a graduation and I overpacked, per usual. But it just feels so nice to have so many choices of what to wear to the events! Before, I was stuck with whatever fit, no matter if I liked it or felt good in it. Dressing is fun again, and I’m lovin’ it like Mickey D’s.

Another thing I’m loving? The fact that a standard bath towel wraps around me now!! With room to spare. Major non-scale milestone for me and I’m very pleased to have met it.


May 11, 2015 weigh-in: 225.0 (-105 lbs)

Weight: 225.0 lbs
Weekly change: n/a
Post-op (305.0 lbs, 10/21/14): 80.0 lbs
From highest (330.0 lbs): 105.0 lbs
To half-assed goal (165.0 lbs): 60.0 lbs

No weigh-in last week due to travel, but I’m down 3.6 lbs from April 30th! Very nice, given that I was so swollen that I couldn’t wear the same shoes on the flight home that I wore on the way there. Very nice, indeed. Traveling a lot over the next month, so I just need to keep doing what I can do.

I’m setting my sights on -100 lbs, 2.0: Post-op edition. 20 more to go! What I’m really gunning for next is ONEderland. I have 26 lbs til that puppy and I am bound and determined to get there by Labor Day. But I gotta work. (Har.)

Back on Plaquenil and hopeful that it’ll decrease my fatigue and joint pain enough for me to step up my exercise game considerably. It can take six months to kick in, but I responded relatively last time. It’s not a miracle for me, but definitely seems to be a step in the right direction. I’m already back to working out, though; still it would be good to be able to take it up a notch.


April 2015 summary: -7.8 lbs

March 31st: 236.4 lbs
April 30th: 228.6 lbs
Monthly change: -7.8 lbs
Average weekly loss: 1.95 lbs

-76.4 lbs post-op (305, 10/21/14)
-101.4 lbs from highest (330)
63.6 lbs to half-assed goal (165)

Closing out the month up about a half a lb from 4/19, but I’m OK with that. My body is still trying to work out its travel drama from last week and I’ve learned there’s no way through it but through it. Not too hard to accept of course, when April still had a great average weekly loss rate. Considering many others have seen a stall or two by this point in the process, I’m counting that as a win.

Tuesday, I finally saw what others now see when they look at me. Caught my reflection off and on throughout the day and was surprised by how much I smaller I appeared. But then I spent all day yesterday feeling like a parade float, so who the heck knows? This whole thing takes some getting used to.

On a plane as I write this; will miss Monday’s weigh-in, which probably isn’t such a bad thing!  Officially back to the scale on 5/11.


Waisting away

Knew my belly felt smaller! Just measured and it’s down 2.5″ from 3/30 to 39.5 “. And that’s with significant post-flying bloat still in play. That’s a total of 12 inches off my waist since February 2011. (Which, sadly, isn’t even the biggest it got, it’s just the earliest data I have available at the moment.)

SO glad to see my waist shrink! Then again, I knew that my body had to start seriously tapping the keg soon, as my legs have already given up so much to the cause. And they were proportionately smaller to begin with! I was beginning to look like I had a hanker for a hunka cheese, frankly:


Shouldn’t be too long before I’m below the high-risk for heart disease/diabetes waist circumference–35″ for women.

Actually some cheese does sound good…